“If I could go back to my younger self, I would definitely pick that wee girl up and give her a hug.”

A Social Work student has reflected on her incredible personal journey, which has culminated in a first-class honours degree.

After leaving school at the age of 16, unable to read or write, Chloe McRoberts’ turned her life around thanks to her sheer determination to help others face personal and social barriers in their everyday life.

This is Chloe’s story:

Before you read on, please note this article mentions suicidal thoughts and self-harming.

Primary School

When I was in primary three, I was diagnosed with dyslexia. I couldn’t read or write properly, but I loved learning.

My dad then passed away when I was in primary five, so that was really hard for me. I missed most of the year because he had terminal cancer, so my sister and I just tried to spend as much time as possible with him.

Not long after that I was diagnosed with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). My behaviour was incredibly erratic, and I was very emotional. The classroom just wasn’t a place I wanted to be in terms of support. I felt I was almost targeted because there was a lot of stigma against ADHD and it just wasn’t understood at all. It was challenging and the emotional turmoil of it actually led to me self-harming.  When I was in primary seven I was effectively put onto a suicide watch, which involved constant supervision at school.

Secondary school

Things remained the same between first and third year of high school. I was then put on quite a lot of medication for sleeping and my ADHD. I actually don’t remember that much, other than my whole life just being chaotic. I never sat any exams because the school was unable to provide the appropriate support. My mum then offered to come in and give me the support I needed, and that’s what she did. She quit her job and had a room in the school so that she was there whenever I needed that emotional support. It was a massive help to me, and I now have a greater appreciation for everything she’s done for both me and my sister.

Community education

I ended up leaving school in third year, so I didn’t do any exams or anything like that. It was a big thing for me not being able to read or write when I left. I was partly embarrassed, but I also knew I understood things despite not being able to express it. I remember my friends planning what they were going to do at university and even seeing them doing their weekend jobs - it was all just so far out of reach for me.

I started going to South Ayrshire Council’s Learning Shop, which is an organisation run by volunteers - mostly retired teachers. I started doing English and maths there, which essentially allowed me to go back to basics. I went for an hour a week and found myself progressing onto the next stage.

College

I started going to Ayrshire College in Ayr, where I studied one subject a year. Even at that, I really struggled and failed my maths four times, which led to me being diagnosed with Dyscalculia. I kept pushing ahead and eventually went onto study some Highers. They actually weren’t offered in Ayr, so I had to travel up to Glasgow to complete them.

I then applied to university and never got in, so I decided to go and do my HNC back at Ayrshire College - this time at their Kilwinning campus. I had quite a successful year doing that and was given a lot of support. I began to feel far more confident thanks to the people working there who really understood me – I didn’t feel so alone. It was very stressful meeting assessment deadlines and I did struggle, but I was massively proud that I managed to achieve it.

I had a real desire to go on and study social work. The struggles throughout school, the loss of my dad, various other situations I’ve been through during the course of my life made me see things from so many different perspectives.

University

My HNC was basically a backup if I didn’t manage to get into university. GCU had given me a conditional offer, which meant I needed to get a B in my graded unit. Thankfully, I managed to get it.

I was incredibly nervous because I knew the level of learning would be a big jump. I remember my first day looking at the GCU buildings and I was thinking here we go, here’s the last four years. It was overwhelming, very surreal, but I also knew I could do it. I was so proud of myself.

After three challenging years, I was really excited coming into fourth year because I was doing my Honours Project on a topic I loved: British Sign Language (BSL) and the barriers around it. I’m now fluent in BSL and just think it’s absolutely incredible. I chose it as a topic because as a social worker you always see the social nets people fall through. When I stumbled across the occasional deaf person, I realised I was that barrier to them having full inclusivity – now I can support deaf people to the best of my abilities.

Graduation

I don’t think I can really describe my emotions around graduating. It’s just been so exciting and I’m incredibly proud. It feels like a full circle moment and it’s very emotional.

I always knew I wanted to go to university and I knew inside me that I could do it. Graduating has been eleven years of hard work, not just the last four. There have been so many challenges and hurdles getting here. In February this year, I was actually diagnosed with autism. If that had been diagnosed earlier, I think I would have had more support at important development points in my journey.

Future

I’m now looking ahead at the opportunities in front of me. I’ve decided that I’d love to do a Masters and become a Mental Health Officer. I’m also really keen to find new ways that I can use my British Sign Language to help me develop new connections.

Reflection

If I could go back to my younger self, I would definitely pick that wee girl up and give her a hug. I would tell her that everything’s going to be okay, and most importantly that she’s loved. That might sound silly, but I think knowing your worth is a big part of getting you to that point where you’re walking across the stage on graduation day.

By Ross Clark  
Got an SHLS or GSBS story? Email me at Ross.Clark@gcu.ac.uk or message me on Twitter