We live in a world where people seek help if they’ve broken their leg but won’t do the same with a broken mind

Time To Talk Day takes place on Thursday 3 February and we invited one of our Mental Health Nursing students to share their personal journey – as well as getting their top tips on how to keep a positive mindset. 

First year student, Ross Milne, candidly spoke about his own mental health battleafter being caught in the grip of toxic masculinity and self-destructive thoughts. 

Ross now embraces who he is and has even used his personal experience as motivation to forge a new career path – one which brought him to GCU. 

This is his story: 

Background 

My original degree was in finance and I ended up working with the Financial Ombudsman down in London. I was constantly dealing with complaints, so every single day was negative. It eventually took its toll and, along with me trying to hide my sexuality, led to depression. It’s a bit ironic, because I was one of those people who would hear about folk going off sick with it and just think, “that’s a load of rubbish, they’re just wanting a skive". 

The importance of speaking your mind 

I was in a really dark place and I was self-destructive. This was all to do with my feelings of being gay. It got to a point where I had two options; either take my own life or open up about it and deal with it. 

I decided to talk to my parents and friends, while also seeking help through counselling. It was all really positive and I think it was mainly just internalised stigma. I’ve had the same best mates since school and we’d never usually talk about anything deep – it was just all the usual lad chat – but after I opened up to them, they became a lot more open with me.  

My boss at the Financial Ombudsman was also really good with me and was always available for a chat. I then got involved with the organisation’s mental health committee and LGBTQ committee, and there was a lot of focus on removing the stigma around mental health and talking openly. From there, I also volunteered at the LGBT switchboard - which is kind of like the Samaritans – and that’s when I realised I wanted to work in mental health. When I was getting support from counsellors, I remember just looking at them and thinking; “I want to be in that seat”.  

So, I decided to quit my job down in London and moved up here with my parents. I started working as a carer for elderly people and also worked towards the Counselling Skills Certificate, which is the first thing you need to do if you want to go into a career in therapy. It’s also a great thing to learn in general about communication skills and empathy - I always recommend it to folk.  

Once I completed that, I actually started the Person Centre Psychotherapy degree but there were all sorts of issues with the course and I also realised that I hadn’t had enough life experience to be working as a therapist; I’m only 28 years old. Taking a step back actually meant it all came together. 

I go to an LGBT running club called Glasgow FrontRunners, who funnily enough meet at GCU. I was talking to them about my background when I first started and someone told me to go for Mental Health Nursing. It’s strange because it was something that never really crossed my mind. I started looking into it and GCU just seemed like the right place to go. 

Finding strength in a weakness 

Don’t get me wrong, my mental health is in no way perfect, but it has definitely improved. Being in control of your own thoughts is one of the most important things for anyone - it’s vastly underestimated. I’ve obviously had personal experience of it and was just holding everything in – it’s not the right way to do things.   

I used to view mental health as a weakness but it’s actually a strength in yourself – especially if you’re able to seek that support when you need it. 

Recovery is a combination of things for me; I take mood stabilisers, but that’s just one part. It’s not like getting paracetamol and you definitely know it’s having an effect. Exercise is a massive thing for me too, and so is talking to people and socialising. Also, just doing what I want to be doing in life has had a massive impact on me – being at GCU is the first time I’ve done that.  

Your mental health is vital for living and I think people are sometimes almost sleepwalking through life. It’s important to step back and have a think about where you want to be. 

Students 

I think covid has been a particularly difficult time for all young people - especially students. We’ve not had the chance to meet our classmates and you’re only really meeting each other online, so you’re not as inclined to meet in-person and form actual friendships.  

Also, when you’ve got a job, you know what hours you’re working but being a student isn’t like that – it can be really stressful trying to balance everything. Students tend to be younger as well and you’re still learning a lot about yourself at a time you want to be independent. 

One in three Scottish males experienced suicidal thoughts 

We definitely still live in a world where there’s that kind of archaic view that men are the strong, silent type, while women are emotional and more sensitive, but to me gender doesn’t separate anything. 

When I realised I was gay, I just had that automatic thought of, “oh that’s bad, I can’t do that”, so I wanted to hide that by trying to be the most macho guy I could be. When things then got better, I became so open-minded and didn’t want to hide anything.  

Men are definitely more likely to see mental health as a weakness but talking about things really can make a huge difference.  

Light beyond the pandemic 

Covid has obviously been horrible but it’s encouraged a lot of people to pick up healthy habits. Restaurants and pubs were shut and you definitely became aware of a lot more people outside in the fresh air - I hope that’s something that continues. I even got into mindfulness and meditation, which I’d previously been very skeptical of. 

Outside of that, It’s important to find the right people that you’re comfortable talking to – you don’t need to be open with everybody. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to someone, then it’s good to write down your thoughts or even try speaking them out loud. If you’ve got thoughts going round and round in your head, then it’s important to get them out in some way. 

I think folk also under-estimate just going out for a walk because they don’t see it as exercise. I like going to the gym but for me, it’s not just about the physical impact on your body. I like being in nature where you can almost distract yourself, and Scotland is the ideal place for that.  

Healthy eating is also vital. When I moved back home from London, I noticed how well my parents ate and it made a massive difference to me. I think we always associate it with physical health but, for me, mental health and food are massively linked. You hear a lot of talk about your gut, and that’s where a lot of your dopamine and serotonin is produced – it all links in with how you feel.  

Future 

It’s easy in hindsight, but I always think that it’s crazy that we live in a world where people will seek help if they’ve broken their leg but won’t do the same with a broken mind. Stigma is a huge part of that but there can also be issues going to your GP in terms of waiting lists. I’d love to see therapy and counselling becoming easier to access but I know that’s a big ask given where we currently are. 

I think we’ve got quite a western view with medicine where we think pills are the answer all the time, but there’s definitely more things we can do like working on ourselves to help fight negative thoughts.” 

You can find out more about mental health support at GCU through our Student Wellbeing team. 

By Ross Clark     
Got an SHLS or GSBS story? Email me at Ross.Clark@gcu.ac.uk or message me on Twitter